His secret, diabolical plan

to drive me crazy is completely in effect and may actually be working. At least moderately.

The other day when I got home from work, I couldn’t find my boy anywhere downstairs where he is usually waiting for me.

So I went to find him and discovered him up in his room, laying on his floor with the most sad look on his face.

I then asked him what was wrong. He told me he had had the worst day ever. I asked him what exactly had happened to make it the worst day. He told me, ever so reluctantly, that he failed the math test he had had that day.

What he told me next was the more disturbing part.

“Mommy, I’m really stupid. I was the only one who failed the test in my whole class.”

Now remember, my boy is only in first grade.

“Son, you are not stupid. Sometimes it just takes some people a little longer to get the hang of things. (pause) By the way, how do you know you are the only one who failed?”

“Well, seven people got A’s, six people got D’s and I got the only F.”

“What? Ms. M. told everyone what everybody else in the class got on the test? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m stupid. I was the only one who got an F. I got an F plus, plus.”

This should have been my first clue but noooo . . .

“Son, are you absolutely sure Ms. M. told the whole class about everyone’s grades?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I do not agree with that and I am going to call her right now to discuss this and your grade.”

Luckily, I had the phone with me and immediately started dialing the school’s number.

At this point, my boy starts laughing and smiling and bursts out with “Tricked you!”

I stutter and sputter and am speechless and, luckily, hang up the phone.

You may be thinking I was astute enough to be calling my boy on his bluff which is why I had so quickly picked up the phone to “call” the school. I only wish that were the case. I was seriously about to call his teacher and have a little heart to heart with her about this public humiliation of my sweet, innocent son.

In more ways than humanly possible, I am so blind.

“What? You mean you didn’t fail your test?”

“No, I got a 100 or a check plus or something like that. But I really tricked you.”

And yes, he really had me going there.

Seriously, how great am I that I got suckered by a six year old.

This is a very, very bad sign of things to come.